Transcontinental Birth Trauma

Now, oy 'twas bawn inna Horsetraila...well, Australia, actually, with the emphasis on the Ozzzzzz....  Thereto, I consider myself extremely fortunate; and extremely unfortunate.  How so, I hear you say?
Well, to many people who have to struggle for survival under the various hideous conditions foisted upon folk by the 'gods of the underworld' (otherwise known as the 'econoninnignomes' who pull the strings of, sorry, 'manage' the 'GFB - Global Financial Bloodbath' - one step back from a GFC) Australia is, of course, an incredible paradise.  And it is; although one much more so that of the Aboriginal Dreamtime, except, with a 'monkey on its back'.
Pour moi, the major misfortune in regard to my birthplace is, that it wasn't the French who colonised this country (and yes, I am aware of the negative aspects of colonialism on many peoples, but there have been some benefits here and there too).  As much as my Brit sprits have paved a gentler path for me, 'tis fairest Brittany 'twouldest I yearn to belong to, and definitely not that of the Spears variety, as fecund as she may be.
Australia??!!  French??!!  You may snigger in your Tooheys-Carlton-Cascade, or savignon blanc if you're that way inclined.  However, Snowy-Blacky-Bluey (ah, how linguistically inventive Australians used to be), the reality is we came thisclose to being daughters and sons of La Belle France.  If 'Nappie' hadn't been roundly beaten around the ears by Waterloo (and not that emanating from certain Swedish songsters - though I suppose one consequence of being a French colony is that there probably would not have been any 'Muriel's Wedding') we probably would have wine, cheese and truffles pouring from every orifice - daily.  Still think 'I'm dreamin'' - take a look at how many sites around Oz have French letters to their names!  Well, some, anyways!
So, in recognition of these glorious phantasmagorical croutons that I am about to toss into my French onion soup, I say not cheers, but salut, mate!
And I'll Endeavour to Baudin yer d'Entrecastraux in forthcoming dalliances.